Tomorrow it has been three months since my surgery. My ligaments are technically healed at about 60 percent, and the next 9 months will heal the last 40 percent. Hopefully. Meanwhile the first two months of recovery were not hard to deal with at all, the past month has been a struggle. In more ways that I thought it would be.
Enjoying the beautiful full moon along one of Norway´s fjords
I can function in the daily life, there is almost always a bit of pain, but notthing I can´t deal with. I can float down class three, and cross eddylines. Rolling however, hurts the shoulder. A lot. So, I need to wait, heal more, wait more.. and it is getting harder and harder to sit still on the sideline, while the world plays, people make plans, go on adventures.. Yet, I know I am in no position to complain.
Enjoying the flatwater..Never thought I would.
In one year, I hope I have accomplished some new goals. I want to improve in many areas: I want to be better at paddling steep, technical and pushy rivers. I want to push to get on some new ones. Russia is on the list, as it has been for a while, but it has taken a big step up. So has the Stikine. Though, that one has to wait till 2014. I want to go to Chile for half a year. I need to dance tango in Buenos Aires. My education is coming to an end, yet I have already tasted the normal life. I am not sure if it is ever for me. At least not for long periods of time. But it serves its purpose when I anyways can not play.
Another drive by view that makes your heart start racing. Bookmark that one for 2013 someone!
The last month saw me stepping back a lot. From trips I thought I could do this fall, from TV-filming, from competitions, from slalom, from most things involving a river actually. My shoulder simply does not heal fast enough for my dreams and goals. So I need to step back, properly, and let it become 100 percent again. Or actually, more like 120 percent. That is the REAL goal.
I focus on my studies, on having a home (crazy!), make some money, teaching some kids spanish in the local senior high school, impacting their lives and study hours with hilarious stories from my travels in South America. We wrote cards to my neighbours kids on the Futaleufu, and at least now my students are excited to learn about Chile. It is amazing how important it is to be able to share your life to motivate others. Even 17 year olds that have the world in their hands.
The view of yet another fjord on the drive to my university..
Goats are my favorite animal… maybe because they are so stubborn 😉
Yet, while I taste a bit of the normal life, I keep thinking to myself: Is this it? Is this really what makes people happy? Do not get me wrong, nor feel offended. I guess I just spent too much time on the other side, maybe. I don´t know if I can ever step in 100 percent, and I doubt I can do the normal life for too long at a time. Though, I sure enjoy it at the moment, as it is filing an itching void of waiting it out. Letting it heal.
I have my eyes on some goals this fall, but I need to wait another three weeks to see if I need an MRI of the shoulder. I have pains I should not have, according to my physio. She is suspecting another injury that got covered by the major injury. We will see. Even if, the only way is forward.
See you SOOOON out there..
Below is Kardalsfossen, on my recoverylist for MAYBE 2012.. She is beautiful.